Ho Chi Minh City, or Saigon as it is still referred to casually by many who live there, is a bustling metropolis filled with the kindest and most welcoming people. Around every corner you'll find great food, cold beer, and an amazing night that may only set you back around ten US dollars.
Through the jet lag I ventured out to see what this city had to offer, and in my first day, I learned a few hard lessons. In fact, on my whole tour of the country, from Saigon to Hanoi, I learned hard lessons. None of them difficult enough to keep me from dreaming of the day I can get back to visit Anthony Bourdain's favorite country, not to mention mine.
Keep your head up and your eyes locked while crossing the road
On day one in Saigon I learned the most important lesson I used every day in Vietnam: vehicles will not stop for pedestrians. I waited at an intersection for much longer than I needed to because I was too afraid to just go. The sweetest woman tapped my arm and motioned for me to watch her.
She walked at an even pace and looked at every car and scooter driver that came her way, when she got to the other side where the traffic came from a different direction she turned her head and did the same. They all slowed to allow her some space, or moved around her. She was like a stone in the middle of a flowing river, and she got across the street safe and sound.
With my heart in my throat I stepped off the curb and tried to copy her. I paused out of fear a few times and got honked at, almost hit, yelled at, and emphatically waved at. I swallowed my fear and just walked looking at every person driving toward me.
I realized they needed to let me know where they were going, just as much as I needed them to know I wasn't going to stop and cause a pile up. What I assumed was an insane and unorganized free-for-all turned out to be the most conscientious traffic I've ever experienced. It may look like chaos, but I think Vietnamese people may be the most efficient drivers in the world.
Choose your tours wisely
As an American, I am used to hospitality having a base level of fine. At the very worst, American hospitality has more of a focus than the other countries I've visited. That being said, nothing will make you feel more like you're in another world than someone accepting your money for a service, and not caring at all if you have a nice time.
I chose to join a group tour to visit the Cu Chi Tunnels and a Cao Dai Temple. The tour was advertised at my hotel, so my American brain assumed it would be a lot of fun. There were more people than seats on the bus, so we were squished. Plus, the tour guide was not a fan of Americans which led to more that a few awkward moments.
The Cao Dai Temple was very beautiful and I'm glad I got to see it, but with the lack of AC on the bus combined with the overcrowding made it a difficult journey at best. I would have rather had a beer on a street corner that day, and booked a private tour of both locations which wouldn't have set me back much more than the amount I spent.
Don't be too attached to your phone
Before I left for Vietnam, my friend Jon who is from an area south of Saigon told me that I shouldn't stand too close to the road while I use my phone because people on scooters look for tourists and snatch their phones from their hands. Driving off before you even know what happened. I was prepared for that and also made sure to keep my wallet and phone in my front pocket or in a zipped fanny pack, which worked for a while.
It was New Year's Eve in Hanoi and every bar was full, and the streets were packed with food stalls and people. The energy was so high and we were all walking in the same direction, so it was luck that I even felt my phone slip out of my front pocket. I stopped in my tracks and turned around and there was one person walking against the crowd.
I walked quickly to reach him, and found his hand still holding my phone. He turned and we locked eyes and he smiled with a "you got me" smile and went on his way. I have been told in hindsight he could have not been that nice, so I should have just let it go.
Never eat Western food in Vietnam.
My trip was about three months and the conversation with other tourists always led to how we all really craved sugar. As it turns out there is a lot less sugar in Vietnamese food than in American food. So when I was craving a hamburger, I was likely just craving the insane amount of sugar we put in our burger buns.
I had to learn this lesson too many times before it stuck. One time I wanted Eggs Benedict, and trusted that a restaurant would know the recipe. My mustard covered eggs were not the treat I had anticipated. I finally gave up on scratching my American food itch when the manager of the hostel I was staying at claimed that he used to live in America. He claimed the burger they had in their restaurant was just like it was in the US.
I ordered the burger and fries, and though the fries were fine. The burger was, and I am not exaggerating here, about one ounce of beef steak, pounded out with a meat tenderizer and charred until it was unrecognizable. The guy was so nice that I ate the whole thing, and stuck to local faire the rest of the trip.
Don't get mad when you get scammed... because you will probably get scammed.
I was in Ha Long and I had done all the research on the most cost effective way to get to Cat Ba Island. I read articles on how people will try to take advantage of tourists and what red flags to look for. I was told to take the car transport and avoid anyone trying to offer a private boat because you can't be sure of the safety of those small private boats.
From the port at Cat Ba, you should get on the bus. There will be people trying to get you to pay for a private cab who will tell you that you can't take the bus. That isn't true and it will cost you a lot more. Just get on the bus. That was my plan and I was going to stick to it.
While it is beautiful, there isn't a lot to do in Ha Long Bay so the night before my friends and I were going to take the ferry we enjoyed a few libations. The next day, we had about four hours before the ferry was going to leave so we just went to the port at Ha Long Bay and were going to wait there. Almost immediately I was approached by the nicest lady, she knew I'd be there for four hours so she said, "You should book a private boat, it takes you right there and you won't have to wait. You'll be there in thirty minutes and they'll drop you off downtown where you're staying you won't have to take the hour bus."
My hang over more than my good sense asked how much it would be and she said it was the equivalent of $10 USD per person. I asked what the boat looked like, and she pointed at a boat that would comfortable seat 10 to 12 people and we all agreed that sounded a lot better. We gave her our money and walked over with our bags.
As we walked toward the boat she had pointed at she stopped us and pointed in the distance where the smallest boat I have ever seen came to meet us. I turned to get our money back but she was nowhere to be found and our driver didn't speak any English so four large American's boarded the equivalent of a dingy and crossed our fingers that we would make it.
Before we left I pulled out my map and pointed at downtown where she said we'd be dropped off, and he nodded. We arrived in Cat Ba soaking wet at the port across the island from downtown where we were told we'd be dropped off. We walked toward the bus, and a group of men stood in front of us and said, "That bus isn't for you." I was so exhausted that I didn't even remember the advice I had received and they loaded us into a big van.
Before he drove he asked, "How much did you pay for your boat?" I told him and he immediately said we owed him the same amount. I had fallen into every trap I had been warned against. I was fuming mad. But as I sat in the front seat of the van seeing the beautiful sights of the unnaturally green island, it dawned on me that I had only spent $20 USD. I almost laughed at how little money that is in the grand scheme of things and moved on.
I truly believe that anyone who travels to Vietnam will fall in love with it. The culture, the history, the people, and the food all come together to create the trip of a lifetime. These few lessons I learned were helpful to me, and I hope they can be helpful to you.